Grace Amid Adversity

(Continuation of First Blog, Last Heartbreak)

I almost fell from my seat when i heard through text from a colleague, Mau Fajardo, that I passed the prequal FSO exams . I wonder why God would permit that I pass the exam after 8 years, while I was in the middle of the battle of CARDIOMYOPATHY. My eyes suddenly went misty, I was with Tita Me-Anne.... and I searched for answers.

It's time to meet the evil witch doctors on 18 July 2006. And they restricted my activities which made my condition worst. Dra. Gonzaga is out of the country so Dra Monzon was the one who saw me. She saw that I was yellowish (jaundice) so that made me stay at the UST hospital again. When I was at the admission, I saw a picture of Christ the King, I was crying once again, I intently looked at him and asked him why my prayers are not answered. I prayed that if He's going to take away my life then so be it. I'm tired, everyone's tired and I feel that I'm much of a trouble. I texted Orlee and Egay (not the actual texts) :

Me(to Orlee and Egay): Parang di na pinakikinggan ang dasal ko

Orlee: Baka yung sa kin pakinggan

Egay: Bakit naman? Nsan K ba? Nsa Ospital ka na naman?

Me( to Orlee and Egay): I'm admitted sa UST hospital na naman. Galit na galit ako pero di ko alam kung kanino ako magagalit. Ayoko na.

Orlee: Ingat ka. Tell me kung anong nangyayari ha.

Egay: Bakit ka naman magagalit? Lakasan mo ang loob mo.

Me (to Egay): Putangna.. Pagod na ko.. gusto ko nang sumuko.. gusto ko nang mgpahinga

Egay: Wag..pagsubok lang yan di ibibigay ang FSO Exam kung walang dahilan. Isipin mo ang anak ko. Marami pang mararating si Louie.. kelangan makita mo pa yung potensyal ng bata.

Me : Alagaan mo ng ayos ang anak mo. Mukhang di ko na masususbaybayan pa si Louie. Sorry ha. di ko na matutupad ang mga pangarap ko.

Michelle: Kamusta na? Lakasan mo loob mo nand2 kami para sa yo

Arlene: Ililibot mo pa sa Europa ang anak ko. Wag ganyan ute.. nand2 kami para sa yo...

Me(to arlene): Pasensya na.. di ko na matutupad ang mga pangako sa anak nyo. Pagod na pagod na ko. Gusto ko nang magpahinga.. At least nakapagpaalam ako sa inyo. Salamat sa lahat..

And a barrage of text messages came in my phone.. from cousins.

I stayed for another week in UST.. I requested from the witch doctor that I be released on 23 July... the bitch told me to stay for another day.. I became restless.. and threatened me that she'll have me released, on condition that I sign a waiver that it is against doctor's orders (THAT BITCH, THAT BITCH, THAT BITCH, beware people.) which will not prompt Medicard to pay my medical bills.

I also found out I was awarded Most Outstanding Employee Award for my office last July 21, another blessing.

I went home in the heat of the President's SONA, and vowed that I will never ever see that doctor again. The bitch even blocked our request for records at the hospital.

I felt better at home. The bitches told me and my family that i should be restricted of activities (would you believe even walking) which made my relationship with my family an ordeal everytime I wanted to walk or even do non-strenous activities.

I got hold of a computer and wrote the first blog. This is to tell the world that I survived this whole thing.

In the course of writing the blog, I got hold of my friend Lalaine through yahoo messenger. She currently in Paris, France. I told her the same story that you were reading. She told me to see DR. ARISTADES PANLILIO of the Philippine Heart Center for Asia. I told her I will and she promised that she'll go to Lourdes, France for me. I also asked her to visit the Daughters of Charity Convent, propagator of the green scapular, that helped me in my greatest need. (Would you believe my 2D echo showed I don't have clots anymore in the left ventricle and I owe that to the green scapular? Praise God!) She promised she will. I thanked her and I told her maybe her mission in France is to help someone in need.. Thank you so much Lalaine! from the bottom of my battered heart.

Messages of support came in.. from my former boss in Paris, from colleagues, from relatives calling over the phone... friends coming over the house.. some of my relatives even gave us money for medicines.. even transportation for my check-ups with Dr. Panlilio.

Here's my activities for the past four days:

1 August

Consultation with Dr. Panlilio and his words were: "I can't see why people like you can't live a normal life" "You just have to take it easy" "We'll do some tests" "You can work again, you can even go back to your third floor apartment" "Basta if before you could do it in 10 steps, let's make it 9 this time, If you could pull 5 tons of of weight let's make it 3 tons this time"

2 August

Blood tests, Liver Ultrasound, Chest Xray, Installation of the holter monitor at the Intercon Labs Banawe, QC.

We even went to Glorietta and greenbelt and walked for three hours to test the holter monitor.

3 August

The holter monitor was removed at the Intercon labs.

Today 4 August 2006

I had an 2d echo cardiograph test with dr Panlilio doing it at the East Avenue Medical Center. He said:

1. My heart is so weak

2. I got the same case as the actor Rico Yan

3. He didnt see any blood clots in the left ventricle

4. Resignation from my job will kill me in six months because my heart would lack activities

5. Over exertion would kill me too, so I should ask for a desk job.

6. There would be three possibilities that would kill me : either stroke, heart failure or... i forgot the third one..

6. I should see him this afternoon for instructions. (I'LL UPDATE YOU WHAT'LL HAPPEN NEXT)

I LOVE DOCTOR PANLILIO... THE WITCH DOCTORS WOULD HAVE KILLED ME IF I FOLLOWED THEIR SUGGESTION THAT I RESIGN FROM MY JOB.

IMPORTANT THING IS I FEEL BETTER NOW :)

(to be countinued)