Holier than thou

I loved you up to the end.
Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love.
But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person..
How beautiful it will be when the RIGHT ONE comes along. (Thanks goofy5 of g4m for that very nice thought, but how would you know if that person is the wrong one?)
********************************************************************************

How to make you’re your life miserable on a Maundy Thursday:

1. get trapped on a NLEX traffic, lunchtime, onboard an open air bus to Bulacan
2. listen to Patti Austin’s “If I Believe” and Daniel Bedingfield’s “ If You’re
Not the One”
3. read Nick Hornby’s “High Fidelity” e-book on your pda phone
4. receive a mms message from Merboy on the boat circumstances on his way to Puerto Galera

5. reminisce what happened last year
*************************************************************
Holyweek 2007 is not that bad really. The Residencia peeps (actually just five of us Michelle, Jason , Arlene, Bong and moi) wandered Bulacan for our traditional Visita Iglesia after the annual Gulod Pabasa
( which by the way celebrated its 50th anniversary. More photos at
http://rv109creek.multiply.com/photos/album/21) The highlights of the said religious activity is as follows:

1. The Saint Michael the Archangel Parish in Constantino, Meycauayan Bulacan boasts of it’s intricately wood-carved altar with gold inlays. The church itself is made of limestone that cools the place. It is also rather unusual that we start the visita at this point.
2. The Holy Cross of Wawa Parish in Bocaue Bulacan is well known for the Pagoda Festival and the Miraculous Cross that it houses.

But what impressed me most is the church’s serene vigil room.

3. The Church of St. Lawrence in Balagtas, Bulacan is located at the back of the town’s municipal hall. The visitors were also treated to a hot bowl of lugaw (congee) which Bong devours in the photo (hehe).
4. The outlined light of the Church of Saint Idelphonse amazes us while we are on our way. The church is also newly renovated.

5. The Tabang Church has its dramatic way of luring parishioners back to the church. A lot of candles adorn the place coupled with the dim lights and classical meditative music solemnized our visit.
6. The historical Barasoain Church captivated me with it’s majestic ceilings that remained witness to Asia’s first Constitution. On our way home, we grabbed a box of the famed “inipit” (which is by the way so expensive, 350 pesos a box!)

-------------STOP AT TREATS NLEX FOR KFC he he
7. Back to homebase, the newest addition to our parish, Immaculada Concepcion, is the tomb style stations of the cross.

8. Lastly, the Church of the Mother of the Holy Eucharist in san Vicente Bulacan is a sanctuary for us. I’ve taken a video of the cave replicating the Holy land sites which leads to a fountain and the church.

I have also recorded videos regarding this holy week. It's my journey through the attraction at the Church of the Mother of the Eucharist at San Vicente, Bulacan and the "Prusisyon", the Good Friday tradition in Sta. Maria Bulacan. Enjoy guys.

Aftershocks

Abducted. Those who have read my last two blogs were all sympathies for me. I would like to thank all of you for that. But as I recount the events that happened in Feb, it wasn’t that bad at all. I thought I would be recovering in like a year or so but it proved to be an exaggeration. I am into this new series, The 4400, which is about people abducted by aliens from 1956 -2003, and they all reappeared through a ball of light over a lake in Seattle. The 4400’s were trying to reconnect to the world. That is exactly what happened to me this March. It’s as if I already forgot what happened last Feb. Freaky huh.

Baguio. Last 21-22 March, my boss and I went to Baguio, It turned out to be boring. I enjoyed the 14 hour bus ride (we didn’t ride a chopper this time) better than my 12 hour stay there. I just bought a box of strawberry jams and 3 kilos of fresh ones and chocolate flakes.

Trim. It started out as a challenge. My ex said (this is when we’re still together, while looking at the cover of ICON magazine, where there is bunch of bare-chested guys): “You (your body) were never like that and you’ll never be like that”. I was barred to work out for year. But guess what: I’m back.

Eclipse. I enrolled at the Eclipse Gym (www.eclipsegym.com), Mabini last March 3. It’s a La Sallista (Taft that is hehe) gym where people sport havaianas and basketball uniforms (yes, no rubber shoes allowed in the gym area). I was told that athletes of the NBA workout barefooted in their gym. I’ve like 4 types of exercises in a session which is thrice a week. The gym doesn’t have instructors but coaches that don’t believe that my condition should impede my workout. A friend of mine saw me and he can’t believe that I’ve gained a lot of weight. All I said was: “That’s why I’m back! See you in May. (haha)

Havaianas. Arvy and Ness’ dad just came from Brazil and he bought every Havaianas flip flops that he could grab (and Ipanemas too). I bought the almoana(?) and surf style pairs to complement my existing blue pair. I just love it. And it became part of my bathroom door décor.
Happy. The question is am I happy? The answer is YES I AM. I’m a survivor remember. Someone asked me that if there’s a song that would describe how I am now that would be The Last Time by Eric Benet (thanks to my friend Red for introducing the song to me). Kudos!

The Last Time
By Eric Benet
BestAudioCodes.com

A Eulogy for a Lost Love

"Never knew I could feel like this. Like I've never seen the sky before"
The first time I saw you, there's nothing extraordinary
But there's this spark that I saw in your eyes
We were not given a chance then
To know each other more

After two years I saw you again
Now the magic stayed
And became enchanted to your smile
We braved the rapids of Rio Grande
And dared to walk in Victoria Park and Brooklyn

We held our hands under the blue moon
And very grateful that at least
we're under it, at times that we're apart

"I want to vanish inside your kiss, everyday I love you more and more"

We learned to dream and soar high
We dreamed of a living in a place very far
Where lights never falter
We dreamed that we could explore the world together

We shared our thoughts on almost everything
We cared so much for Chinese Taipei
Even agreed that ASEAN should have a single currency
And argued on Ada's fate in a musical

Geography, the Arts and History are our passion
We went to museums on every occasion
We stared at works of art for hours
Even elaborated historical dioramas on top of our lungs
We argued on the differences of a country and a state
And agreed that Puerto Rico will never be a part of the United Nations parade
Even though it has a Miss Universe representative

"Listen to my heart can you hear it sing? Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change winter to spring, I love you, until the end of time
Suddenly the world seem such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
And all revolves around you"

Then tragedy struck
I kept my condition from you
as long as I can bear
You held me in your arms in my hospital bed
Valentine's was canceled that year
Instead I was brought to the cardio vascular unit

You made me live again
You've been so patient
Even though at times of self-pity
I shoo you away

You gave me a reason to live again
To fight for my life
To fight for you and my family
I embraced immortality
Just by having you by my side

When we're in each other's arms
Life seems so simple
I felt safe
I felt secure
I felt important
I felt like I'm the most beautiful person in the world
I felt like I'm irreplaceable

"And there's no mountain to high, no river too wide
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide
I love you until the end of time
I will love you until my dying days"

But whatever happened to paradise?
You left me at the wake of my ultimate sadness
I gave you time to think
And became ready to any eventuality

In spite of that, I thank you for your honesty
I believe you have fulfilled your mission
I believe God sent an angel in your person
To wake me up and be closer to Him

Thanks for the memories
I will love you forever
So what happens now?
We better not ask anymore

I'll miss you

In memory of a lost love
(January 10, 2006 - February 6, 2007)


Belated Happy Valentine's to Everyone

A Eulogy for a Patriarch

"Ilang ulit mo nang itinatanong sa akin, kung haggang saan, hanggaang saan hanggang kailan, ang aking pagmamahal...."

You are simply undescribable,
I really can't imagine
How you managed to put all of us beneath your wings
after Inang and Tatang left us

"Hanggang may himig pa akong naririnig, dito sa ating daigdig, Hanggang may musika akong tinataglay, kita'y iniibig...."

You are incorruptible
You served your country well Even beyond your call of duty
You were most loved by your peers
Caring even to the lowliest personnel

"Giliw wag mo sanang isiping ikaw ay aking lilisanin, di ko magagawang lumayo sa yo piling...."

You were a disciplinarian
We may not understand you at times
Even thought you are overly protecting us
Now we understand

"At nais kong malaman mo, kung gano kita kamahal..."

You were the decision maker
In times of doubt, my Mom always tell me
to consult you, for you know best
You were instrumental in choosing my career
And I never regret it.

"Hanggang ang diwa ko, tanging sa yo laan, mamahalin kailanman. Hanggang pag-ibig ko'y hanggang walang hanggan, tanging ikaw lamang..."

You were a crazy person
Humor and laughter
fills the air when you're around
You saw things on their brighter side
And always reminded us to take it easy.

You were our strength
You were better than any
crisis management expert
You can deal with any problem and solve it
I reminisce that time, on my hospital bed
You told me "Go back to work....
.... I want you there"

You never judged anyone
You accepted us as we are
Although at times we kept things under your watch
In the end you'll know it
And you'll understand.

You are a great grandfather
The sight of children brings
twinkle in your eyes
You loved Bong and Louie so much
That it hurts when I remember

You were grateful to everyone
I remembered the look in your eyes last Christmas
You were so thankful of the card, I gave you
Never did I thought
That would be the last

You were so brave
Fighting for your dear life
Fighting for all of us
You never left us till the end
Even now that you're gone

You were a loving father
Father to all of us
I know you are watching upon us up there, proud of what you did
I believe you fulfilled your mission
Pero, pano na kami ngayon?

"Hanggang may puso akong maruong magmahal, na ang sinisigaw ay lagi nang ikaw, hanggang saan? hanggang kailan? hanggang kailan kita mahal? Hanggang ang buhay ko'y kunin ng Maykapal...."

Daddy Edgar, Thanks for everything
Mahal na mahal ka namin! We will miss you.
Hanggang sa muling pagkikita....

In Memory of
Edgardo B. Dela Torre (Oct 2, 1954 - Feb 2 2007)
Residencia Florencia's Patriarch
Engineer, Father, Friend
and now our Guiding Star in heaven

(photo credits courtesy of Mr. Francis Arvy Olarte, for more: see residencia florencia account / residencia_florencia@yahoo.com)

ASEAN Summit Cebuano Style

BRUNEICAMBODIAINDONESIALAOSMALAYSIAMYANMARPHILIPPINES
SINGAPORETHAILANDVIETNAMHANDINHANDASEAN
There nothing wrong with your computer monitor. The countries of Southeast Asia should’ve bonded like that a long time ago. From January 10 to 14, the leaders of ASEAN (the East Asian Leaders on the 15th ), gathered in Cebu to fulfill the dream of a One Caring, One sharing community (with emphasis on ONE). Ambitious as it may seem, ASEAN is now pondering on the idea of laying out the foundation of its constitution that the European Union have tried to perfect in the last few years. ASEAN officials now refer to each other in a candid and neighborly manner. They could discuss anything that sometimes it is misconstrued as breaching the “non-interference in internal affairs” policy. The Eminent Persons Group (the council of the elderly of ASEAN) even floated the initiative that ASEAN will not support non-democratic transition of governments among its member countries. I find this very nebulous, for it should define what is “non-democratic” in the first place. Is the monarchy-backed military-run government of Thailand democratic? Even the governments of Myanmar and Brunei do not seem to jive with this premise. The most significant highlight of the 12th ASEAN Summit is the adoption of the agreement on the protection of the rights of migrant workers in the region, which the Philippines led. But how do we patronize our ASEAN/East Asian brothers? How come the Singaporean band sensation Lizard’s Convention (the singer of the revived “Wooden Heart” in my high school years http://www.geocities.com/sunsetstrip/backstage/2337/) is not as famous in the Philippines as Christian Bautista in Indonesia? Do we ever think of “ASEAN first” in our vacations? Do the goals of ASEAN unity incorporated in the curriculum of our students?
Anyways, after the serious matters, here comes fun>>> the CEBU experience. Cebu is my second home. I am there during the first half of 2006 for the Cebu Interfaith Dialogue. Cebuanos are very cooperative cheerful people. They get things done in a very “Sinulog” way. I am part of the Sub-committee on Airport Protocol at Mactan Cebu International Airport and I consider that as the highlight of my protocol career. 13 Chartered flights departing at almost the same time is a feat that is unequaled in Cebu’s history. Inspite of that, every leader was given a dose of the Cebuano hospitality. The Sinulog dancers were all smiles amidst the heat of the sun or pouring rain. Just watching them perform makes my tiredness go away. Cebu’s nightlife is also superb. I’ve been to Vudu and Yo Latino at Crossroads. You can’t find a place in the Philippines where in minutes you could be in a resort then in a cosmopolitan area afterwards. I love Cebu. I wish I stayed until the Sinulog festival. (This is a very late blog. For more: http://www.12thaseansummit.org/ )

The Christmas Mystery

I've been reading "The Christmas Mystery" by Jostein Gaarder and it really made my holidays. It's more intricate, more challenging and more interesting than "Sophie's World" (his other book). What turned out to be an innocent Christmas storybook became a beacon of knowledge when i started to consult atlases, almanacs and even history books in the course of my reading. I won't review the book, I encourage everyone to read it. I'll just leave a a few excerpts:
"There are two ways of becoming wise. One way is to travel out into the world and to see as much as possible of God's creation. The other is to put down roots to one spot and to study everything that happens there in as much detail as you can. The trouble is that ot's impossible to do do both at the same time"
"In the opinion of the Kings of the Orient", God spoiled humans a bit. He created far too much at the same time. He created so many strange things to look at that many people don't see God. But that's how he managed to hide himself too. He wouldn't have been able to do that if only four people, three trees, two sheep and eight camels exixt in the whole of creation. If only one fish could be found in the sea, people would probably noticed how perfect it was. And then they might have started asking who had made it."
"A quarter of eternity. That's about 66,289 years.. or about 156,498 years... or more exactly, 439 million 811 thousand 977 years and 4 seconds... or perhaps even a little more. It's not easy to say how long a quarter of an eternity lasts. First, you have to find out how long a whole eternity lasts, then you have to divide it by four, but exactly how long a whole eternity lasts is very diffcult to calculate. No matter which number you start with, eternity will last even longer. So one can say that a quarter of an eternity is as long as a whole eternity. Even a thousandth of an eternity is really just as long as the whole of the rest of eternity. This is extremely difficult to understand, for calculating whole or half of eternities is a matter for heaven alone."
- Caspar, King of Nubia
"He's selling flowers in the middle of the winter because the glory of heaven has strayed down to earth. You see, there's so much glory in heaven that it can easily spill over"
- Joachim
"You needn't own anything at all to feel generosity fizzing in your veins. A little smile is enough or something you've made yourself"
- Nicholas, Bishop of Myra

Now, I really wanted to meet Caspar!
Have a fruitful year!

December 26-29, 2006

How you piece my thoughts is up to you:
Flashback:
December 27, 2001? 2002? : A supposed-to-be-wild birthday party at a parking garage where only 5 of my friends came. Celebrations lasted for a week.
December 27, 2003: Birthday party at the comforts of oakwood premiere makati
December 27, 2004- December 27, 2005: Forgettable birthday parties

DECEMBER 26-29 2006
-days of grace and thanksgiving
Day Minus One
- Greenbelt 3-- Starbucks-- In the Name of the Rose
- Ayala Museum Visit ( the multimedia presentation on 1972-1986 Philippine Conditions is so moving, it's as if I'm there.)
- Lunch at M Cafe
- Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah Ze Moveeh (hehe)
- Got my 2007 planner at Starbucks G4
- Do I still have to tell you who I am with? :)

D- Day
6:00 am Woke up
6:32 am Mass at Immaculate Conception Parish
- been wondering why everyone knows its my birthday. all the mass goers greeted me only to find out dad listed my name for the mass.
- pondered on the the life of Saint John the Evangelist my patron saint. The priest explained that St. John is the only apostle who died of old age and not of martyrdom.
- was so thankful for this day. I MADE IT!
7:35 am At home
- greetings started to pour in.
- wondering why Ka Stella (the La Residencia official cook)is at home cooking a lot of dishes in big containers
- dad said i should go with him in Lingap Bata and Bahay Kalinga
2:00 pm Bahay Kalinga/ Lingap Bata Visit
- i don't think i cud handle the sight of abandoned elders and children
- with Tita Flor (Mrs. Huber :) we talked to the lolas
- with a simple merienda of pancit and sandwiches my birthday celebration became a memorable one.
7:00 pm The Grand Celebration
- Tito Edgar setting up the videoke
- messages of greeting kept pouring in
- I never thought my thanksgiving dinner would be this grand. A lot of my relatives came. We savored a meal of lengua estofada, shrimp casserole, kare-kare, the ever famous pansit, spaghetti, fried chicken fare, desserts etc
- I love gifts! (hehe)
-celebration lasted till 4 am

D-Day plus One
The World: Gerald Ford dies at 93
- In the Name of the Rose-- The End
- Started "The Chistmas Mystery" by Jostein Gaarder ( a must read!)
- Supposed to be a doc's appointment at 6 pm, but the "fireworks" traffic jam in Bocaue came in the way.
- in Makati with friends till 12 MN

D-Day plus Two
- So fascinated with CASPAR! (the Christmas Mystery- a must-read!)
-Healing explosion at the Divine Mercy National Shrine in Marilao with Mom, Tita Ising and Jacky.
- Healing priest ---> Fr. Fernando Suarez from Canada (but a Batangueno eh)
- "I don't believe in healing priests, they just drive you out of grace when you're not healed. I believe that God will heal me in his time. I'm doing this for my mom. Real healing is unwavering faith and true love. And it dwells from the heart"
- "Father, I have cardiomyopathy"
-"On second thought, his hands have electricity"
- Nightcap at starbucks with the gang (see new pics uploaded by andrea)
God, Thanks for everything!
End
Have a Blessed New Year!

Remembering Auschwitz

There is a section of the Divine Mercy Church in Marilao that we have tried to explore, the Little Poland Exhibit. It is always closed whenever we visit. A part of that is a replica of an Auschwitch death camp.

I have read books and watched movies about the Holocaust. The Diary of Anne Frank is one of the books that inspired me to explore more. The Pianist and Schindler's List are just two of the movies produced that tackled WWII in Eastern Europe. I also chanced upon a National Geographic special which features an Aryan nursery home (somewhere in Nuremberg,Germany), where Eastern European kids are being raised away from their parents . At work, we opened a "Children of the Holocaust" exhibit where the horrors of a semitic ghettos are highlighted. When the Prime Minister of Poland visited the Philippines, I met Sandra, our counterpart in the Polish Ministry of Foreign Affairs. She mentioned that they celebrated 50 years of Auschwitz were SecGen Kofi Annan, VP Dick Cheney and President Jacques Chirac (France) were among the guests. It was a chilly November that Cheney sat on a seat with a heater. I really don't know what Auschwitz was that time.

Then it suddenly dawned on me. One Saturday, I chanced upon an Oprah Episode featuring Eli Wiesel ( author of Night, a book on the death camp) a survivor of Auschwitz. Oprah visited chilly Auschwitz with Mr. Wiesel (pronounced 'Vizel'). Upon entrance at the camp, the women and children were separated from the males and were directed to gas chambers. The gas chambers will be filled with cyanide gas and their bodies would be burned on a crematorium. Those who lived are healthy males who are either forced to work or be guinea pigs in a medical laboratory. Seven tons of human hair (in sacks, to be woven as textile) mountains of baby clothes, shoes, cyanide cans and suitcases were recovered after the Auschwitz raid of the Allied Forces. The valuables are now encased in an aquarium-like eerie display showcases in the museum that haunted me until now.

I cried over the lives lost in Auschwitz. I know it sounds crazy but..

For those who have perished, we remember

For those who survived, we heard you

For the next generations, don't forget.

POSTCRIPT:

I made the blog without seeing what's inside the death camp replica in Marilao. Two weeks ago I had a chance to tour it (at last) the pictures below would speak for themselves

I came, I saw, I Conquered

I was brought up in a town in Bulacan where November 1 is really something big. All Saint's Day is marked with a lot of food in the table, new clothes, lengthy and fat candles and flowers that are intricately arranged in the tomb of my ancestors. Everyone was there as early as 7 am, have a hearty lunch at home and retire at about 8 pm. We would meet our old friends, school chums and sort of renew ties with old acquaintances. We all seem to grow up so fast during the last 5 years. Only the "oldies" (my mom, aunts and uncles) stay in the cemetery. While I was still sleeping till 12 noon, because of my annual Malate revelry every All Hallows Eve, my cousins are just at home with their kids taking advantage of the holiday.
This year, I planned to do the same (oh, except the Malate Halloween Party, it’s boring anyway). I will just stay at home and not bother to go to our family crypt. The sight of a wake, tombs, catacombs, urn, funeral, wreath and everything dealing with death just freaks me out after my long vacation at the hospital from June till August. My cousins found that as a very clever excuse, but honestly, I do freak out. I’m afraid I’ll just read my name in one of the epitaphs. And just being in that family crypt where I’m supposed to be interred if I died gives the creeps.
So there I was lounging at home busying myself with the Skywalkers, Yoda and Obi Wan Kenobi and figuring out how the Evil Galactic Empire would end. During lunchtime, I was so alone, while they were having a field day at the All Saint’s Day picnic. I told myself I should conquer my own fear. So when my cousin Au went back to the cemetery I joined her and went there. I was so quiet while staring at the candles and my eyes became misty. Finally, I conquered Death, and I could say that I could face him anytime he comes.
P.S. I was wearing a new shirt that time and I reinvented my look (just keeping up with the tradition hehe).

If I believe

patti austin

free song Lyrics

Sometimes we just hear beautiful songs and we take them for granted. We let them pass us by.Last night, someone texted me the lines above. And that made me live again. So for those of you wondering what the status of my lovelife is, analyze the song for yourselves. Maybe I'm mushy but that gesture really made tears roll down my eyes. You know who you are, I love you so much. Sorry if I have to breach our agreement on blogging, I just can't keep it by myself anymore.

The Miracle of Hope

There can be miracles When you believe Though hope is frail It's hard to kill Who knows what miracles You can achieve When you believe Somehow you will, You will when you believe
- from the movie "Prince of Egypt"

I already mentioned that my family and I are attending healing masses at the Divine Mercy Shrine in Marilao, Bulacan (see my blog “REAL”). Tomorrow will be our 11th Saturday. I always see the same people every Saturday that I called them “classmates”. There’s this guy, battling cancer through chemotherapy, with his wife and 3 girls, a guy, about my age, with parents that are both disabled, a woman with a “special” brother and a kid with a weird device attached to his head. There came a time when I wondered if we would still “classmates” when it’s time to embrace the light

My mom often cries while looking at me, feeling helpless, then I pity her and cry too. We got over our helplessness on our 9th Saturday. But on my 10th Saturday I felt the urge to sob. I saw my “classmates” line up during my offertory. I felt thankful that I can do the things I never thought I could do again. While some still cling to their hope of a miracle, some are thankful for the blessings they got. I realize I have nothing to wish for but to hope that my “classmates” get their prayers answered.

I suggest you should believe in miracles. I am the living proof.

God will make a way, if I will be true to him and serve him.
God will hear my prayer, if I will be true to him and serve him
There are wonderful things coming your way, if we walk the path of Jesus.

You can, when you believe.

(related link: http://marian.org/shrine)

Millenium

We've got stars directing our fate (ooh ooh)
And we're praying it's not too late
'Cos we know we're falling from grace (ooh ooh)
Millennium

-"Millenium", Robbie Williams

There I was waking at about 6:35, opened the television just to hear that work was suspended that day. I was about to sleep again when I remembered I have to assist the Danish Ambassador on his visit to the DFA that stormy morning. Suddenly calls and text messages flooded my phone. I decided I have to go to work after all. As soon as I got to the office, I’m on the phone, canceling events. We just cancelled about three events before typhoon “MILENYO” makes a landfall.

I got back from the office to my flat at about 11:00 am. I was asked by my flat mate to accompany him to the movies since there was no work that day and there’s no electricity. Just before we arrived at the Robinson’s Place Ermita, we heard shattering glasses, a lamppost breaking. I see iron flying everywhere and trees uprooted along Roxas Boulevard. The tides of Manila Bay swept the Baywalk area that almost overturned the kiosks. Hundreds were stranded on the streets waiting for their ride home. This is not a typical typhoon after all.

When we reached the mall, we were ready to queue up for the movies when an announcement was made. “ Attention dear shoppers, due to the inclement weather conditions, we are now limiting our store hours, we hope to see you tomorrow and have a safe trip home”. Crap! Now we have to go home just when the eye of the storm hits Manila. We had coffee at Mabini and surprised to see that L.A. Café and Amazonia Bar in Malate is open! (24 hours it says). It is packed with foreigners and bargirls inside, while slivers of glass were scattered outside.

I believe that the safest place to be during a calamity is a mall. It has food, entertainment, air-conditioning but in this case the malls are all closing. Credit cards and atms are out of service. We cannot even call because the phone lines and cell phones are busted. When I arrived at my flat that night I just wished that I’m in Bulacan watching DVD.

I remembered the Y2K scare before the year 2000. I imagined the same thing the day after Milenyo struck. Back to basics, no phones, no electricity, no Internet, no water, no McDonald’s, no transportation, no malls. Just candles and battery operated appliances. It seems like we’ve been hit by a tsunami.

Scalpel- Lash Curler Metaphor

Last weekend, I have lived in seclusion once again to do marathons of the Grey's Anatony Season 1 and 2. I have finished LOST and i'm still lost. I screamed at every episode that my flatmates often knock at my windows wondering what's happening. LOST is so eerie that I don't recommend watching it alone for fear of losing your mind. I lent my dvd copies to my cousins Michelle and Jason and told me they were sleeping at wee hours in the morning. You just can't stop watching until your questions are answered. We are gearing up for season 3 which we plan to watch weekly over the local UHF channel. I could also feel that the Desperate Housewives Season 2 being shown on Studio 23 is on its last two episodes. I heard they will start Season 3 in November at ABC (US).

Just as I thought I am through with hospital drama, here comes Grey's Anatomy which is a story about 5 surgery interns making a mark at Seattle Grace Hospital. I have learned the levels of doctors in an American hospital namely: the chief, the attending, the fellow and the lowly interns. Terms such as scrubs, shrink, stat and even the "call " ("time of death is 1257H") makes the series very interesting to the viewers. I especially like the character of Dr. Miranda Bailey, an African-American fellow who is often referred to as the Nazi because of her strict stewardship of the five interns. Dr. Izzie, the blonde intern reminds me of "Phoebe" and Dr. George O'Malley reminds me of "Joey" of friends. The series' central character Dr. Meredith Grey reminds me of the lovestruck character of Bridget Jones. I pity her during the entire duration of the series. But the character I like most is Dr. Derek Shepherd's wife, who he refered to as Satan and refered to by Dr. Grey as "the woman as pretty as Isabella Rosselini". Given the chance to know her, I'll ask her to marry me!

Grey's Anatomy is a mix of the wit of "Ally Mcbeal", the comedy of "Friends", the secrets of "Desperate Housewives" and the drama of "E.R.". I usually freak out at the sight of blood and surgical procedures but in this series, it became bearable (I even eat my lunch while watching it). The oddities, drama, excitement of hospital scenes are very interesting that you'll never stop watching. The creativity of how Shonda Rimes came up with mixing romance and hospital humor in a series is unimaginable (lash curler-scalpel/ dextrose-vodka metaphor). I just can't get enough of it. Maybe I should call a shrink, I'm going gaga over these series.

Happy Birthday Louie

I already mentioned Louie, Egay’s (my cousin) first-born child, which I already considered my own in the other blog (Grace Amid Adversity). She’s the kid we are talking about that kept me going amid my ordeal. Well, our little angel turned one last Saturday, 16 September 2006.

In the Dora the Explorer theme, guests were treated into an afternoon of puppet shows, games and fun. I bought a Chicco electronic toy turtle as a gift. Guests trickle down by 4 pm and everyone was happy.

I remembered a year ago when her father, Egay, called and sought my help when her mom, Arlene, was rushed to the Manila Doctor’s Hospital that only turned out a false alarm. When the real thing happened I was in the middle of an event at work. So, I just arrived at the hospital after Louie was born. When I saw her in the nursery, she was so meek and beautiful. After two days, I took her picture through my phone and never erased it ever since. I was reading Sophie's World by Jostein Gardner then. Then I learned they are naming her Sophie Louise. I hope she grow as smart as Sophie.

Anak, I hope you read this one day and I hope that you’ll realize that Daddy Ninong is so proud of you. You are the one who encouraged me to rise up from my illness and continue to live again. I hope to dance with you on your 18th birthday and who knows, even give you the European tour, that your mum is wishing for you.

Desperate Housewives, Lost and the Scramble for RC

I already said I was with my doctor last September 4. My doctor called me up at midnight just to tell me that my prothrombin time soared high (14.0! normal is 1.7-2.9). He advised me not to go to work. And that I be careful not to accidentally bump my head or trip at any rate. He told me to go to the hospital the next day and stay within the hospital premises.

So there I was the next day scared as hell as I wait for results of my yet another protime test. When I decided to stay at Tita Leony’s in Cubao than die of boredom at the Heart Center. I found Tita Leony’s daughter-in-law, Kat, addicted to the Korean telenovelas compressed by season in one dvd. She offered the Desperate Housewives Season 1 dvd. When I got home I immediately started it. And I never came out of room that week.

Desperate Housewives lets you have a feel of being omnipotent, a god who knows all secrets and the dirty laundry of the neighbors of Wisteria Lane, Fairview County. I only went out of my room just to eat, that my mom became so worried. (I even peed in an arinola in my room!) It is that addictive and will make you and anti-social freak.
(We had a family gathering Sept 6, and all I did at the party was to eat and go back to my room afterwards). My first encounter with the Desperate Housewives started one Sunday when Orlee asked me to watch the Studio 23 telecast. I vaguely understood my first episode because it was already the Season 2 then. I asked Orlee (through text messages) the circumstances every time a scene came up and totally understood it after Season 1.

The character of Bree Van de Kamp (Marcia Cross) totally amazes me. I freak out at her totally Stepford way of life and how she lives a cheerful lifestyle in spite of problems besetting her family. The accident prone Susan Mayer (Teri Hatcher) reminds me of my stupidity sometimes. The drama, murder and mysteries of DH makes you watch for more.

That Thursday (7 Sept) I got hold of Lost Season 1 and 2. I watched it per Orlee’s advice. It looks very boring at the first episode. How will a story of 48 castaways in an island progress into two seasons of 17 episodes each? But I totally freaked out when the castaways found out the French woman on the island. I wonder how the writers of that series ever think of twists and turns of the story. I told Orlee that if I was one of those writers my nose would be bleeding right now.

I went back to my apartment yesterday, 11 September 2006, when the greatest catastrophe happened in my life. I forgot my dvd player’s remote control in Bulacan! I felt so helpless that I even broke a few buttons. I’m in the middle of LOST season 1 and my dvd player cannot operate without the remote! Thank God, my cousin Au is an angel, she brought the remote just now, all the way from Bulacan. And I don’t wanna be disturbed tonight.

Drama Fest on its Second Week

I'm writing this in an internet cafe at about 10:15 pm.

I went undertime from work today because I had a check up. It's my second week at work. I'm beginning to feel lazy shuttling from hospital to hospital for my check up. I've been to San Juan De Dios hospital for the prothrombin time test, got the results at 4 pm and went to Heart Center for a check up. The doctor said I have to repeat the test since he did not trust the findings of the other hospital. I stayed at the hospital till about seven pm, got lost riding jeepneys along Timog Avenue, then I started to curse while riding the MRT.

I still remember what the doc told me about my meds:

Coumadin - it makes the blood thinner and would prevent stroke , I should have the proper dose or else I'll have bruises and bleeding (that is what the prthrombin time is for)

Cordarone - it would prevent sudden death -- creepy

Lanoxin - would regulate the heart beat

Lifezaar- is an ace inhibitor -- whatever that is

Aldizide - a diuretic.

Do you feel that you're reading medical transcriptions everytime you read my blog? I'm sorry guys but this is my outlet. I just feel like I have to tell someone of my misery. Kayo lang ba ang nagsasawa? AKO DIN SAWANG SAWA NA!

Of course after the consultations the drama begins. While riding the MRT, I realized that everytime I go to my doctor, I am reminded that I would eventually die. Maybe not that soon but in the near future. Tears suddenly fall from my eyes and started to tell my cousin Egay through text of what I feel. What I need is a miracle. Everytime I see a new horizon, I fear death. Whenever I lose hope, I become ready to embrace mortality.

Anyways, Orlee and I are supposed to watch the "Devil Wears Prada", but the traffic and the extra time in the hospital didn't permit us. He asked me how was my consultation. I told him that we should shun the topic and talk about happy things. But he'll be informed of the significant findings once it surfaces. We had dinner instead and had coffee at Shangrila just like the old times. Again, let me remind you that it's been two months since I lived alone or had dinner and coffee or movie with Orlee. Too bad he's now based in Cavite.

Will you still remember me after a this blogs? If I stopped doing this, will that mean something happened to me? Only God knows. And I need your prayers for courage, even if it will not entail a miracle.

Back to Work, Back to Reality

I'm back at work, I'm back to reality. Yesterday, I arrived at the office at exactly 9 am not knowing what lies ahead. As soon as my boss saw me, i was given tasks, and by 10:30 am I'm attending a division meeting. Seems like my desk has been tasked to 3 people when i left. I was given new assignments but unlike before it is now centralized in the office. We had lunch at about 12 noon and missed this life that I had before.
By 3:30 pm, I was back at my feet doing some of the paperwork and more procedural papers were tasked on me. It was like this when I left the office last June. Papers seemed to come from everywhere. My boss requested me to accompany him at SM Mall of Asia (imagine how big the mall is and I walked, from buliding to building) because he wants to buy a phone. By 7:30 we're done with the phone. We had dinner and by 8:15 I'm on my home to Bulacan. Whew! What a day!
My dad is supposed to be celebrating his birthday yesterday. I'm glad it was postponed for today. I had like 7 invitations to diplomatic receptions, dinners and cocktails that I found on my table, and I'm not planning to attend them.
This is the life that I deserved. I far cry from my 2 months of being strapped to our rocking chairs watching noontime shows, news and soap opera. I still ask for your prayers for this life to continue until my dreams are fulfilled.

REAL

You'll know your real friends in times of adversity and mishap. I would like to thank everyone who called and sent text messages from all over the world (naks) from Paris, Brussels, Athens, Kuala Lumpur, Tokyo, Bangkok and even as far as Buenos Aires (I'm not kidding). You know who you are guys . Please continue to include me in your prayers. I never expected that kind of moral support that you have extended during my ordeal (haven't read it? See FIRST BLOG LAST HEARTBREAK). A lot of you guys are asking the latest.. when will I go back to work? wILL I resign? What are my activities lately?

Well, my next Heart Center check-up will be on Tuesday, 15 August 2006. I'm not yet goin back to work. The doctor wants to make sure that my meds would work. Target work date is on 28 August 2006. That's after the FSO exams. (ewan ko kung may babalikan pa kong work... teehee) I'm perfectly fine. I sleep well (unlike before na napaka-irregular). Wala na akong mga bantay! (yehey!) and I'm doin this blog through an internet cafe..... totally alone.. hehe And I am not resigning from my job, but I'll be negotiating on a lighter load.

I've been reading a lot... reviewing(kuno) for the exams. I bought that world history book that Lalaine recommended and doing it in a hundred pages a day (whew!). Malapit na kong matapos sa Medieval ages papasok na ng Modern History (whew!).

I've been going to the National Shrine of the Divine Mercy in Sta. Rosa, Marilao, Bulacan for a healing mass every Saturday. My mom a devotee convinced me to join her with our family. After that a sumptous lunch follows. This is what I am missing all my life... to be with my family at least once a week and enjoying their company.

Oh well..I still have to wait what the doctor has to say.. and what the future would bring.

Can't Get Enough of Rent

This morning before going through my usual routine of reading the newspapers and books, I watched some scenes from Rent again (yeah! call me a Rent Addict). It took seven plays of the first scene before I got enough of it... (yeah I am a rent addict) For those who doesn't know the lyrics of Seasons of Love (the first act/scene) here it is:

ALL: Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty-five thousandMoments so dear.
Five hundred twenty-five thousandSix hundred minutes.
How do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes
How do you measure A year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love?
Measure in love
Seasons of love.
Seasons of love

JOANNE:Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes!
Five hundred twenty-five thousand Journeys to plan.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes
How do you measure the life Of a woman or a man?

COLLINS: In truths that she learned,Or in times that he cried.
In bridges he burned,Or the way that she died.
ALLIt's time now to sing out, Tho' the story never ends
Let's celebrate Remember a year in the life of friends

Remember the love! Remember the love! Seasons of love!

JOANNE: Oh you got to got to
Remember the love! remember the love,
You Measure in love know that love is a gift from up above
Seasons of love. Share love, give love spread love
Measure measure you life in love


OOOpppss.. i have wrong lyrics pala... I just checked the real lyrics now (o yeah a Rent addict commits blunders)

Anyway, I got over the first scene and became interested in the "Tango Maureen" scene. It's about a conversation of Mark and Joanne over their apple of their eyes, Maureen. Mark is Maureen's boyfriend who was traded over Joanne, a lesbian lawyer. Parts of their conversation is as follows:

JOANNE: As a matter of fact-

MARK: Honey, I know this act
It's called the "Tango Maureen"
The Tango MaureenI t's a dark, dizzy merry-go-round
As she keeps you dangling

JOANNE: You're wrong

MARK: You're heart she is mangling

JOANNE: It's different with me

MARK: And you toss and you turn'
Cause her cold eyes can burn
Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound

JOANNE:I think I know what you mean

BOTH: The Tango Maureen!

MARK: Has she ever pouted her lips
And called you "Pookie"?

JOANNE: Never

MARK: Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?

JOANNEThis is spooky
Did you swoon when She walked through the door?

MARK: Every time - so be cautious

JOANNE: Did she moon over other boys - ?

MARK: More than moon

JOANNE: I'm getting nauseous

MARK: Where'd you learn to tango?

JOANNE: With the French Ambassador's daughter in her dorm room at Miss Porter's.
And you?

MARK: With Nanetter Himmelfarb The Rabbi's daughter at the Scarsdale Jewish Community Center
It's hard to do this backwards

JOANNE: You should try it in heels!
She cheated

MARK:She cheated

JOANNE: Maureen cheated

MARK: Fuckin' cheated

JOANNE: I'm defeated, I should give up right now

MARK: Gotta look on the bright side
With all of your might

JOANNE: I'd fall for her still anyhow

BOTH: When you're dancing her dance
You don't stand a chance
Her grip of romance makes you fall

It's funny when we think how would our exes or a current and an ex would react of what they both think of you. Just like what happened to me yesterday and today... (ooopss, end of story).
Rent talks about life, love, survival and tragedy. It reminds us that everyday should be lived in La Vie Boheme but that should be coupled with our care for others. As the song "Will I" goes:

Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care?Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?

And if ever in the game of life, someone put us down let us remember Angel's (the homosexual) words in the song, Today 4 U:

Today for you - tomorrow for me
Today for you - tomorrow for me,
I said Today for you - tomorrow for me
Today for you - tomorrow ...Whoa, ohhhhh for me!!!

Hahahaha.. Enjoy RENT, people.. I'm sure there'll be a third helping to this series